marriage

February 15th Jon purposed to me!!  Wedding plans are underway and I will keep you all updated.

 We are planning on having it in Seattle.

take care

hope all is well in everyones world.

ran a 5k on saturday ... it was refreshing and an accomplishment.. although my time would have been a bit better had i not partied the night before.. it was good to finish running.. 35mins..

i'm tired of people and all there demands and lack of awareness.

i love oregon so much.

lets face it.. the weather is awesome and the people, although strange at times, are very endearing.

so did you know that cingular charges you to check your voicemail - LAME....

it is such a gorgeous day that i have to get out and play

later

Britney

as i get older i have stopped doing things i've enjoyed most of my life. 

in corvallis still, however not for long.  i need a place to live by the end of september with my dog.  any suggestions let me know

when things get awful it is usually because my bank account has seen better days. is that not awful?

i do not want to live in las vegas unless very very temporary.  over and over i feel defeated by observing current situation ... and realizing the "should of done (s) "

this weekend i'll be in seattle. going to a wedding and possibly scuba diving.  i'm upset right now and i don't know if i'll actually make the trip.

i feel this bull-dozer on top of my brain, heart, and soul.  it is crushing what i have learned, my ability to grow, and is suffocating out what i want to say.

whoa is me .. . whoa is me.....  i wish i owned a bat and something i could smash.

vomiting my thoughts on an answering machine to a friend i realized i'm bored.  well, there are moments in a day where my thoughts are mush... my hands are desperately trying not to rest or be idle.  "somthing to do someone to talk with...." races in my heart.  waiting for Jon to get home.. waiting for a scholarship packet in the mail.. waiting for august to go to DC... waiting for tomorrow.

do you ever delight in someone so much that your own person becomes disliking?  "i'm just not like that"  roles around my brain.  i'm like this that and this... not like that... but would i be happier if i were like them? i know that is being fake.  it's just so hard sometimes to sit back and see joy in others and i'm not joyful.  i'm not a cheerleader.. i'm a grump.   so to all you cheerleaders... i envy you.  the way you smile through stress... the way you toss you hair to lifes misfortunes.  the way you don't worry.

worry worry worry has never gotten me much further then my own head.  habits die hard...i want to enjoy my life with others, but it pains me when i am caught up in details.

aghhh..... "deep breath"  enjoying life in oregon.